


Nowhere to Go

by wisteriasong



Series: Still [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Porn, Established Relationship, F/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Porn with Feelings, Relationship Problems, Strained Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:14:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23788399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisteriasong/pseuds/wisteriasong
Summary: And yet despite the strain and drain...Somehow, Akaashi finds it all just hard to simply leave.Perhaps because it’s the only comforting familiarity he has left.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Reader
Series: Still [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/479230
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	Nowhere to Go

**Author's Note:**

> The last of the 'Still' series, and perhaps one of the saddest things I've written as of yet.
> 
> This fic is heavily inspired by Daughter's song for the music video 'Still,' which is where I got the inspiration to do this series in the first place.
> 
> Despite it being all gut-punching and sad, please do enjoy though!

When is a relationship worth leaving?

It’s been a question that has lingered in Akaashi’s mind as the two of you gradually began to drift apart, and the spark of your relationship seemed to simply diminish out of nowhere without any sort of conflict stirring anything between the two of you.

The disconnect between you and him simply happened.

It’s not that you two don’t love each other anymore, but somehow it’s as if you two have grown tired of investing into the relationship. Dates just seemed like a hassle, and a waste of time considering you’re both trying to get through your last few months of college before the real start of your lives.

And yet despite the strain and drain...

Somehow, Akaashi finds it all just hard to simply leave.

Perhaps because it’s the only comforting familiarity he has left.

He knows it shouldn’t be the only reason he should stay, but for some reason it’s just hard to come up with anything else.

He knows he should be trying more.

He knows that he should be putting more effort.

But with you not bringing it all up, it makes him wonder if it’s all just something wrong with him.

Akaashi tries to close his eyes and get some sleep, but his mind still lingers to the matter at hand, his current circumstance with you. He tosses and turns in bed, trying to shut it all off and let slumber take its course. Unfortunately, it doesn’t and he finds himself rather restless.

However upon hearing the sound of footsteps, he immediately shuts his eyes tight, feigning sleep as you enter the room after a night out with some friends.

As you walk toward the direction of the room’s vanity, he carefully watches you as you strip yourself off your makeup and accessories. He may not see you closely, but notices the way your body hitches as you clear your throat and wipe your eyes.

He’s not sure of what to think, what to do, or what to say.

Instead, he simply watches, watches as you take off your clothes and eventually join him in bed, facing the opposite side of the room.

Perhaps it wasn’t just him feeling it after all.

* * *

Your weekend together is quiet.

No one has uttered a word since you’ve greeted the other a ‘good morning.’

Akaashi types away on his laptop while on the couch as you sit next to him with a coffee mug in hand. He glances at you for a moment, before going back to tending to his own business. You switch on the TV, surf through the channels until you find something that catches your eye.

A quirky segment on relationship problems.

You keep it on the channel. The topic was on affairs and cheating, a frequent topic that surfaces around the media nowadays. The people debate over the issue as it starts to stir some sort of quarrel between a couple who apparently have been in the situation once before.

Ah, the so-called drama to stir up some news and views.

Eventually, you switch the TV off as you shake your head. The next thing he notices is that you’ve placed the remote down as you look at him intently. 

He’s not sure what to think, unsure if he should even speak up at the moment; the air between the two of you is full of tension, as if waiting for the other to just lash out or strike out of nowhere, but neither of those scenarios take place.

Instead, he notices you move closer to him. Your palms and knees on the couch as if carefully stalking him like he were prey. Such makes him close his laptop, placing it on the coffee table once you’re closer. Akaashi could feel his heartbeat quicken as your hands clutch onto his shirt. The next thing he feels is the press of your lips against his.

Hard.

Desperate.

He returns the gesture, albeit with hesitance as he holds onto your wrists. His hands guide you to his chest for palms to lay on. His hands wander to your sides, pressing you closer to him as your crotch presses against his. You both let out a soft gasp as you two pull away from the kiss you’ve shared.

The old silence of the room is replaced with small and breathy pants.

Still, the two of you don’t speak nor say a word.

Rather, instinct and the need to satisfy the sexual frustration takes over.

You decide to let your bodies do the talking, and the expressing.

* * *

An ache lingers in Akaashi, yet he finds himself unable to stop whatever is going on between the two of you. He can’t tell if he wants this; while he does miss the affection and the attention, he felt somewhat numb. He can’t help but feel somehow ungrateful.

Perhaps this is a way of trying?

Your legs are wrapped around his waist, as he leads you to the bedroom. The moment he pins you against the wall, your lips make contact once more. Hands wander about each other’s bodies. The first thing to come off is Akaashi’s shorts, unbuttoned and unzipped before falling onto the floor; his boxers follow immediately afterwards.

Your hand reaches for his semi-hard cock and it elicits a groan to escape his lips. Your tongue prods into his mouth. He allows it, tongue dancing with yours before the two of you part for air.

Akaashi finds himself not thinking straight; then again, when has he been thinking rationally since the strain between you two began? He doesn’t dwell on the question, thumbs within the waistband of your shorts. You shimmy them off as he pulls them down.

Hesitation, the two of you are already stripped down and yet here he is, frozen and unsure of what his next move should be, or there should even be a next move at all. But his mind shuts down again, as if a switch in his head is being turned off and on.

His hands rest on the small of your back and slowly he trails kisses along your body. From your cheek, your neck, and collarbone before he pulls the hem of your shirt upwards to allow him to access more parts of you. He continues to leave a trail, as if mapping the details of your skin.

In truth, however, he finds himself searching for the comfort he used to feel around you.

Only to realize that he can no longer find it.

At least, not like this, he finds himself praying.

Still, this strange dance between you continues anyway.

No words said nor exchanged, simply just allowing things to unfold.

The next thing Akaashi knows is that you’ve made him sit down on the edge of the bed. You straddle him, sitting on his lap as you grind yourself against his hardened member. He feels the dampness of your core even as you wear your underwear. You’re whimpering, and he holds you against him, hands clutching your back as he lets out a breathy sigh.

No passion, no care…

… It all feels simply biological, mechanical.

You pull your underwear to the side, before lining yourself against him. Akaashi glances at you, observes the rise and fall of your chest; he tries to read the expression in your eyes. Your irises are cloudy, yet undecipherable. Suddenly the ache in his chest just seems to intensify, just as you sink onto him, sheathing him inside you.

Your lips crash onto one another yet again, as you both remained still. He shuts his eyes tightly, both from the superficial pleasure and the fact he feels tears forming and about to cloud his vision. 

Minutes pass, and you start rising and sinking back to him; it elicits pleasure to the senses and along the body, but nothing else.

Numb. He’s starting to feel numb, and yet he matches the pace of your hips, still trying to get something out of all this, out of this attempt to rekindle something,  _ anything, _ even as it seems to bring nothing else but a feeling of emptiness.

Still, you two keep going.

_ Faster. _

_ Harder. _

_ Rougher. _

Little does he know that you two feel the rush of tears, tucking your head on the crook of his neck as you continue to ride him out.

It all ends with the two of you reaching climax, your walls tightening as he spills his seed inside you. The culmination of it all leads to Akaashi allowing his back to fall into the soft mattress. Your body leaning against him falls downwards as well, and you both remain motionless as both of you try to catch your breaths, as well as your composure.

You get up, simply grabbing the tissue from the nightstand to get rid of the cum leaking on your core and thighs. Akaashi assists you before you make your way to the bathroom to properly clean up. He takes the time to clean himself up as well.

He lies down properly on his side of the bed, eyes still a bit glassy as he stares at the room's ceiling. When you return, you join him in bed. Head resting on his chest without a word, but he allows it.

_ Just like how you both used to be. _

After a while, you fall into slumber’s embrace. Akaashi’s mind runs rampant as he runs his hand through your hair. He is often known to solve problems, find solutions to things. He’s supposed to be the systematic one, the rational one.

Yet here he is in a problem that he just can’t seem, or want to get out of.

_ He’s stuck. _

Despite the strain, the tension, the hurt... 

... He finds himself wanting, yearning for that lingering familiarity with you.

**Author's Note:**

> if y'all wanna cry about akaashi you can hmu on twitter, @wisteriasong


End file.
